Coping

It is March.  I have 9 months to go.  Why do I find myself thinking of a loop hole or a “fair” way to purchase rather than fair trade?

Well, I went to my students’ hockey game.  It just happened to be at Grapevine Mills outlet mall. Just happened to be at one of my favorite shopping spots.  I walk in the mall and what is staring me in the face—Forever XI.  One look and it was calling my name.  I hurry past it to the ice rink to see the game. When it is over, the only way back to my car is to walk back through the mall.  Here I am strolling along, just window shopping, and I am feeling guilty, like I am someplace I am not supposed to be.  Then, right when I get close to the exit, I remind myself that there is nothing wrong with looking.  In moments I am walking around Forever XI and it dawns on me that jewelry isn’t on the no purchase list. No, didn’t buy anything, but I did look.  I left the mall empty handed which I have done many times, so looking is just fun for me.

Yes, this is harder than I expected.  I am forced to self examine and well, I really do like to shop.  Now, I do not spend a lot of money.  I am a bargain shopper, and I get a certain satisfaction from finding that great buy.  I really have never spent a lot of money on clothes.  So I am struggling with this whole concept. 

I went to a couple of high end resale shops and the exclusive brand names are more expensive than the bargain buys I would find in a department store.  Really, I found a cute floral summer skirt, “Dulce & Gabbana” for $114, a pair of Rock’n Republics capris for $68, and I found a full length raccoon coat for $1800-resale prices!  None of these would I consider buying, but now you see why I have thought about a fair way to purchase.  For me, it has always been thrifty shopping rather than thrift shopping.  I know I am not helping my daughters cause and the issue is fair trade.

So let me say that in spite of the fact that I really enjoy the experience of finding a good buy at a real store, I have had to look at the materialism and consumerism in which I probably put too much emphasis. We can say over and over again Americans are materialistic and wasteful, but not look at ourselves. I have run out of room in my closets, have more shoes than I will ever wear out, and yet it does not detour my desire for more. I give bags of old clothes to charity. I have even found some of my old stuff at thrift stores. Does giving away my abundance somehow justify my need to purchase more? It is just easier not to think about it and indulge selfish pleasure.  I hate to admit it, I am one of the over materialistic Americans. 

I feel terrible.  I really need to go shopping. Just kidding.

-Elaine